Coping with grief

I thought that I would share some of the coping strategies that have helped me with the loss of a loved one, and to hopefully to give reassurance that you are not alone and to help. Although I understand that there is no set way to deal with grief and everyone is very different in the ways that they cope with grief. Recently my best friend died in a car accident, and it was so sudden and such a shock. I first met her the first day of university, we were in the same flat together. In some aspects we were a bit like chalk and cheese where she was tidy I was messy, where she was ate healthy home cooked meals, I always got takeaway. Despite our differences we clicked and we became best friends.

One of the main things, if not the main thing is knowing that I am not alone. I surrounded myself with family and friends. I find talking about how I am feeling and allowing myself to feel down. I am not really very good at keeping my emotions in at the best of times but particularly when I am sad. It was good for me to talk and remember all the good times my best friend, I even started to write some down in my fear I would forget them. Or even just being in the company of people and not having to talk is also good. I think I was inseparable from my mum when I first found out, following her around.

I found listening to music therapeutic. In fact there was a time when I just listen to really sad songs on repeat. I didn't think I was a big fan of the folk county music but I found a lot of sad songs in this genre. A bit of Bruce Springsteen and Lana Del Rey always relaxes me and makes me feel good.

Also I got into a TV series that really took me away from my thoughts for a while called The Affair. This allowed me to talk and focus on other peoples lives other than my own. I also have got into Game of Thrones, any kind of fantasy I find allows some escapism for me.

I haven't tried therapy personally but I am considering going I have heard good things from other people. Its a bit out of my comfort zone, really talking to someone I don't know about myself, but I am seriously considering trying to arrange some therapy.  Even if its just tips on how to think more positive I really find that useful.